Happy New Year!
I just don’t know where to begin, so we’ll just do if from here and see how it flows.
Spoke to my Doctor, the Surgeon, Dr. Moore today and, after reviewing my x rays said everything looked good and how’d I like to go home tomorrow?!!! I couldn’t really believe my ears, but medication notwithstanding, I believe this actually might occur tomorrow sometime morning / afternoon!
Don’t know if you’ve been able to keep up with what’s turned into my “Odyssey” here, but to recap: came in to St. Joe’s in good spirits and a great frame of mind on 11-29! I expected about a 5-6 hour Surgery where they’d cut out some of my pylorus (part of the stomach) then staple it to what was left of my esophagus, and place it near my upper left chest wall. Thought I’d be in ICU around 5 days and then in the hospital for another 5 days or so and then (get thee behind me Satan) let me get home and get on with my healing and life! (By the way, sincerely, the surgeon told me that he did not see one shred of evidence of any remaining cancerous substance in my body)… YES!!!!!!!!!!
So much for all the best laid plans of Mice and Men; or as Johnny Lennon was fond of saying to his son Sean: “Before you cross the street, better take my hand; Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”!
About 1 week after being in the hospital (I was at this point transferred out of the ICU and was, where I presently am, in the pulmonary floor) some very scary stuff began happening. Without exaggeration it felt as if my breath capacity was barely enough for 2 thimblesful of Oxygen to fill it. Talk about pure panic. Sorry, but out of just about every single biological function I can possibly scour my memory banks to elicit here, I’d honestly say that Breathing has to be right up there at the very tippy-top of the whole damn list! I’ve been on this planet for about 62 years now and I can tell you that this was absolutely the scariest feeling I’ve ever experienced! I mean just try to imagine for a second just flat out not being able to catch your breath and having this repeatedly go on for hours on end, with no apparent let up in sight!
Anyway, they then did a left lung tap and removed around 1 liter of fluid from my left lung! YES! I DID feel relief when it was over! Alas, this relieved feeling lasted for about a day, because in another 2-3 days, they tapped my lung again and this time removed around 1.4 liters of fluid! Then, on Saturday, December 8 or maybe it was the 15th (not sure here) they tapped it again and left a catheter in my back. Whatever Saturday it was, all I know is that within the next 3-4 days they then removed an additional total of 4 (FOUR) liters of fluid from my left lung! Holy crap here Batman, but last time I checked I thought I was listed as “Mammal” and not “Amphibian” or “Ichthyosaurus” or however the hell it is that you want to say “Fish” in Latin! I mean, aside from not trying what I’m about to suggest that you do at home alone, any time soon, (or actually anytime at all) imagine chugging a couple of 2 liter bottles of diet coke or whatever it is that floats your boat ever so merrily downstream and this time instead of chugging it try Breathing through it instead!!! ‘Nuff said! Scary, very, very, scary indeed! In retrospect it was a hell of a lot worse than being told by one of the Techs here that: “Mr. Paul, this is all in your mind, it’s just your anxiety level kicking in!” (Here you go Ms. Tech, I’d rather like to take a stab at “I’m afraid I’ve got no frigging clue as to what I’m talking about” for $20, Alex!)
Anyway, things at this point really do seem to have swung completely around and the situation is just infinitely so much better than it was and I feel and see daily improvement within myself, I’m actually quite grateful for everything—and I do mean EVERYTHING! Yes, even the Tech as I’m sure she was doing the best she could and was simply trying to help calm me down. If there’s one thing my whole 1 month plus stay in this facility has taught me, its that the one—the only—the indispensable ingredient as an absolute prerequisite ingredient for working in the Health Care Profession is simply LOVE!!!!!
In fact, if I may be so bold, forget “Healthcare”, Love is the quintessential ingredient necessary for the successful flow of ANYTHING! It’s the grease and oil in the elixir of Life; it’s the roll in Rock ‘n’… it’s everything there is; everything there was and everything there will ever be! It’s the whole world wide web and ever spinning matrix of Creation itself! It’s what makes the trains run on time; it’s the rebirth in Spring, as well as the icy exhalation of a frosty winter’s sleep! It’s the secret within the wondrous gaze as a child first beholds Heaven’s pure majesty on a star filled night! It’s all this and … imagine for a second… this is but the quick view, thumbnail plans and specs version of the chrysalis within the butterfly within the caterpillar! And again, it’s but the barest of beginnings…
I’m glad for my time in the hospital. I’m grateful for the change in view it’s afforded me to be cognizant of. I’m grateful for a truly wonderful New Year pregnant with the pulsation of infinite possibility and newness of Life. And I’m truly humbled and appreciative, beyond words, for everyone’s prayers, support, and oh yes, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
Happy New Year!
KMLAAY
Victor
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