Perhaps the Seas are Always in Turmoil,
Constantly Morphing, Ever A-Dance,
Their Encaptured Creations,
Energetic Explosions ,
Embodying Patterns of Change itself;
Maybe the Sky, itself, is Falling,
Maybe the Days are Ending, in turn,
Maybe Time itself is Receeding,
Blistering forward,
The Human Race Stumbles,
Pausing, Reflective,
Beginning Anew...
For whatever reasons there may be, for me personally, this is both an extremely "momentous" time in my life and, a time in which no less than 4 events of monumental importance, are all coming to "completion" and each of them during the "same" (relatively speaking) period of time!
1) Obviously, my entire "Adventures in Cancer" was/is momentous enough as to give me a total "Life-Time-Out"! (more about this one later, and, I truly believe that this, alone and in itself, would be quite enough for anyone to deal with)...
2) "Trials " (& Tribulations): 7 years ago, this past September, my beloved wife of the previous 25 years, passed away as a result of--and I don't care how any court or jury rules--the height of Negligence on no less than 3 different entities parts:
1. A Surgeon's wrongful acts which led to a "dehiscense of an anastamosis" (the coming
apart of the spot where my her colon was reattached...
2. Rural Georgia's EMT's, who, while assuming control and placing an oxygen mask on
my wife and then, immediately after laying her flat on her back and me pointing out
my wife and then, immediately after laying her flat on her back and me pointing out
to them that she vomited (and was then in the act of obviously "drowning" in it), they then
proceeded to carry her out to the back of the ambulance--an act which probably took at least
one to three precious minutes to complete--all the while failing to tilt the stretcher so as to
clear her airway...
3. North Fulton Regional Hospital's (to my mind), almost "criminal act "of placing my wife and
myself in what turned out to be a "life and death" decision-making-position of deciding
whether or not to leave the hospital, or wait for 4 more hours until the doctor would be able to
come and see her--and this, by the way, in response to approximately 5 minutes earlier, after
my wife suddenly turned to me and asked me to call the doctor and tell him that her pain
became so intense as to have her say "Vic, my pain now is worse than at any time, including
before the surgery"--and all this after being in that hell hole for 2 solid weeks with their
"Patient Could Care Less" policy, and serious breeches in communication between the doctors
and the nurses, etc., etc.,--I mean, who the hell wouldn't want to pick up and run so that true
"Healing" might have an opportunity to occur??? Oh yeah, and please remember, immediate-
ly after the nurse in charge was alerted to this sudden change in Karen's condition, she
administered a pain pill to Karen that wasn't due for another 4 hours--is it any wonder that
an hour later my wife felt somewhat improved and given all the hell that she'd been through
under their auspices, then decided she'd rather be discharged than to wait another 3 hours
for the doctor to show up?!
In any event, the trial for her wrongful death, against the surgeon (as for whatever reasons there may be was the only legal cause of action my attourneys decided they could pursue), was now scheduled to take place beginning Monday, October 15, 2007!!! By the way, it is now Sunday night, October 21, 2007 as I write this, and the trial is now, at long, long last, behind me and while the verdict did not go in my favor, at least I can take extreme solace for 2 things: 1) All along, I set out to simply, as a matter of HONOR and integrity, defend my wife in trying to let her have her "day in court" that her "story might be told", in an effort to hold those at fault accountable! This all took slightly more than 7 years to actually bring about, all in a torturous journey characterized by seemingly neverending peaks and valleys, and all in the face of a nearly non-stop series of delaying tactics repeatedly presented by the defense. It's seems like a miracle that I ever got as far as I did! And, unfortunately, as it all finally manifested, due to "legalities and technicalities" and, in some cases, actual outright falsifications of medical records (which could not be proven due to convenient documentation, or "lack thereof") I feel like I really was unable to fully tell my story of what I will always know in my heart, actually occurred! A travesty of justice? Absolutely! However, getting back to my original point, I now feel completely at peace I rest secure in the knowledge that I did all that was humanely possible for me, or anyone in my position, to do, and that
2) I now, 7 years plus after the event, and at long last have, finally have CLOSURE and am able to move on with my life!
3) Oh Yes! (Of course there is a number 3 as well)--I know that Karen, looking down from a far better place, is satisfied with my efforts and knows that I went all the extra miles in pursuing this as a matter of Husbandly Duty and Honor!!!
As I said, it is now Sunday night, and I feel as if a weight of about a Billion Pounds has now been lifted from my shoulders!!!
AMEN!
3) As to the third "monumentally important" event in my life that I previously referred to, with my sincerest of apologys to you, dear readers of my Blog, at this particular moment, I simply choose to refrain from discussing. (I would beg you to forgive me and to take heart that at some point following my surgery and the aftermath of my healing from it, I promise to fully address this "mysteriously elusive" number three!)
4) This one, is actually of a pleasant and extremely positive nature, although no less truly "monumentally important"! It is with great pleasure that I refer to the fact that on August 17, 2007, I asked my lovely and beloved lady friend--Ms. Diane Sisto--to become my Fiance and to accept my hand in holy and sacred Marriage at a date soon to be decided! As I said, this one is very positive and wonderful, although, no less of "monumental importance" to my life!
To keep you up to speed healthwise, in brief:
As of tonight, Suday, October 21, 2007, I feel physically light years of improvement on just about every level. Today was the first day I ate without having to first drink the numbing mouthwash, and, I was not in any pain nor much discomfort (I do now have to eat considerably smaller mouthfuls, and considerably slower than I was "normally" accustomed to, but I guess this is good, and actually, more healthy overall!)
Energetically, I feel "Normal"... (weird, but in some respects this is all like a dream happening to someone else; in other respects, its definitely "me" or a "New Me" actually, that this is all happening to)
My Chinese Doctor, Dr. Li, (the one who administers my accupuncture treatments along with the herbs which I brew into a Tea and then drink once a day) told me that I'd soon be feeling my better! In fact, at my last appointment with him (slightly more than a week ago) he again remarked about how strong my "PreNatal Chi" is (I guess this loosely translates into something akin to one's "general constitution"--actually, this to me is akin to one's "Life Force")... In the Indian, or Hindu culture they refer to this life force by the term "Prana". Regardless of the label, I will share with you the following: You know how some people are "hotblooded" or "warm" by nature--just like others are naturally "chilly" or "cold-natured"?-- well I'm most definitely of the former variety. In fact, I've often referred to myself as a "heat-seeking missle". For example, sometimes, when I'm in an embrace and am lying with my body next to and touching against someone else, the other person often has told me that they were "getting warm" and actually needed to remove the blankets for a moment so that their equilibrium could readjust--I just radiate that much "heat". Around the time I got sick, and certainly once I started the Chemo and the Radiation, I then felt alternately "hot"--i.e., I would sweat profusely and feel very clammy and warm--and then, in an instant, I would suffer from chills and feel cold.
(Not very pleasant I assure you). As of this past weekend, I'm ecstatic to report that I am now radiating heat once again! In fact, Diane remarked about this and said that she definitely noticed this change in my "Chi". To me, this is one of the clearest indications that, inside, my essential Life Force is returning and I'm not only feeling like "my old self" but I am now feeling "Better"! Dr. Li calls it "The Second Spring"! That's right, everybody--I'm now entering the "Second Spring" of my Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Praise God! Thank You, Lord! In fact, Thank you all soooooooooooooooooooooooooo Much for your constant Prayers, good thoughts, etc. I'm here to "testify", if you will, that I not only "felt" them, during the time--and still do-- like an "active current" running through me--that's right, almost "palpably", but I absolutely and totally believe in the power that they convey. I feel like I am, and will be, "Living Proof" of this always!
Oh well, I'll be updating this a lot more frequently from now on. I appreciate whoever is reading this and your loving intentions and healing thoughts and prayers!
KMLAAY (Keep My Love All Around You)
Victor
P.S. In my next blog, I'll share with you my "Miracle" which just happened, last night! No kidding!--Stay Tuned....
